Piss pellets: I used to be a supermodel before them!

Its almost 9am...I'm waiting for my 3rd of fourth loads of clothes to finish in the wash so I can hang them out and realized I would be totally done of it wasn't for the "Attack of the Piss Pellets" again.

Do you know what I am talking about?

I've decided that forcing my kids into potty training was NOT going to work for us...at this moment I have one completely done, day/night...only problem is that she has an attachment to her pullups. Even though she never wets them she refuses to wear big girl undies.

The second girl was almost done until she had the flu months ago and she regressed. Now she is getting back into it...#1's are no problem but #2's are hit and miss.

The boy? I think he would let me change his undies till the day he gets married.

I thought the days of a diaper sneaking past me and into the wash were long gone. I was a tyrant when it came to inspection of the loads...till this am.

There is nothing worse in life then reaching into a freshly washed load in the machine to have gel-ly pellets coat your fingers. A dreaded diaper. You pull the diaper out praying it didn't explode and more likely then not it has. Those pellets (piss pellets as I call them) coat everything...the drum, every piece of clothing...and heaven help you if you have something fleecy in there.

One time (as my fb status readers can remember) I was shaking out the pellets and I got some in my eye...and snorted them up my nose and back out of my mouth. It was a dark day in this household...between sobs and gags I felt I was at my lowest.

This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn, fully rested and racing downstairs before everyone woke up. I saw the sun and thought....HA! I will have my clothes hung out before the judging eyes of the clothesline police have a chance to complain. It was a no-go...piss pellets!!

I like to blame G, because he gave them a shower last...but the blame lies here...don't tell him.

So here I sit, one load behind in my conquering or the laundry pile...I'm looking out at half my clothes falling off the line.."*tsk tsk she didn't hang properly again* and realizing the moral(s) of my story...

• Use cloth diapers
• Potty train your kids before they walk
• check all pieces of laundry for unwashable objects
• hire a maid
• when all else fails, blame someone else, the baby daddy is a good one

And finally....don't wake up too early in the morning, nothing good comes out of it. Now I must go sweep, the deadly piss pellets are stubborn enough to warrant a second sweeping in this house! grr

...don't even get me started on my run in with crayons in the dryer...its truly a wonder they let me have kids some days.

The above doesn't look like much...but these, my dear friends, are piss pellets!! I blame them of me turning fat and ugly...I used to be a supermodel you know :P

When is it my turn to scrape the bowl?

"Good moms let you lick the beaters, great moms turn them off first" Unknown


As a child the best part of Mom baking was licking the beaters...the Holy Grail was being able to lick the bowl. Now, of course, my mother was one of those ones who scraped the batter off of everything so you barely taste the lingerings. However, pure joy was finding that little blob she forgot under one of the loops or snuck the spatula before she had a chance to strip it.


As a kiddo, I would be heartbroken and shocked when Mom would chuck the dishes in the sink before I had a chance to inspect...and the horror when the time came I had to compete with the dreaded brothers! Obviously the person who invented electric mixers never had brothers to compete with or they would have made a 3 beater machine.


I can recall thinking "When I get bigger and I bake in my own house, those beaters are all mine and I'm not even going to scrape them!" Hence, the reason I really, deep down started baking and cooking: first dibs!


Alas, tis not so. I have come full circle.


Now I heard all the lectures...salmonella, worms in your belly from raw dough...but pshaaaawwww I am addicted to raw!! Cake, cookie, bread, rolls, biscuits...I've even munched on pie dough. I can't help it. I'm a rebel...I'm on the edge baby..LOOK OUT!




My children are now at the age they want to help with the baking...but I am not stupid, I know the real reason is because they want in on my batter territory. Don't get me wrong, I do love my children but they are cruisin' for trouble messing with my beaters.


I had an epiphany today. My life has come full circle once again...I am now the mother with three little birds with their mouths open waiting for the beaters...once again I am at the losing end. I have become my mother.


I get to do the work, I get to clean while these three minions get to lick all the precious raw batter, and now THEY are complaining I don't leave enough 'stuff on the sticks'....you know what I say?


"Too bad, you'll get worms in your belly and when you get my age you can lick all the batter you want!"
*knowing full well the cycle of suffrage will continue....only this time I forgot to scrape the spatula off and I am sitting in a dark corner with my lappy and my worm filled batter...and the kids can't find me...SHHHHHHHH! I'm breaking the cycle!

PS: by licking the beaters/bowl....I mean just that, not the urban dictionary definition...that would be a totally different story and a new therapy session!

Church Lady Easter Eggs!

Back story: When I lived in Calgary I worked at a restaurant and every Sunday we had a usual table of the "Church Ladies". They were a group of older friends who attended a United Church together every week. Each Easter they made these Easter eggs as a fundraiser. I wanted MANY of them but by the time Sunday brunch rolled around they only had one left. Telling me, "You will only need one."

They were right! Sweet and rich, stored in the fridge and slice a piece off whenever you need a fix. One was enough!

Today I found my recipe for them and made a batch...made some adjustments and voila....Easter Eggs!

To be noted...these are NOT a healthy treat!!

Fondant dough:
1/2lb soft butter
1tbsp vanilla
3/4 tbsp salt
1 15oz can of sweetened condensed milk (Eagle Brand)
3lbs icing sugar (I used approx 1kg bag plus a 500g minus about 1 or 2 cups as I used...either weigh it or guess)
Cream butter, vanilla and salt. Add sweet milk and beat till smooth. Gradually add sugar...it will become too stiff to use beaters so use hands. Knead this until it is smooth and shiny...almost like a pie dough.

Divide into 3 equal parts. With one ball add yellow (I say orange!!) food coloring and knead till color is well blended. Divide this into 18 equal balls.
Cut the remaining 2 lumps into 18 parts. Flatten out the white lumps and place 'yolks' in center and wrap white around this and form into egg shaped balls (with yolk hidden in center).
Set these on waxed paper and into the freezer.

While these are cooling...

Melt in a double boiler:
1 pkg of chocolate (I used unsweetened dark baking chocolate)
1 square of paraffin wax (I used about a 1 inch X 1inch square)
*I also added about a cup of white chocolate chips to get rid of them.
Melt slowly on low stirring every now and then.

When smooth and shiny take cold eggs out and dip and roll in melted chocolate and place back on wax paper until hard. Lick fingers occasionally being sure to wash hands after each lick haha.

You can also make a harder icing to decorate them...but the thought of more sugar added to these sends me into shivers!!

Taaaa-daaahhhh Easter Eggs! Wrap in pretty wrapping and you are a hero!

*this is in no way my original recipe and all credit goes to the ladies of the Calgary United Church...or whomever they got it from!

ps next time I cook something I think I better take pics of the steps haha

AMAZING DEALS!! Gifted Imaginations!!

When I had my kids, I was all about getting vintage toys...the same toys I had while growing up and had such fond memories about.

*AHEM* Have you ever tried looking for a certain toy in good shape on ebay? What a PITA!! Not only do they want an arm and a leg, ESPECIALLY for shipping...they consider those toys Vintage!

Vintage eh? Makes me want to cancel my ebay account lol.

So scrap that idea...I started getting into good....NO greatly made toys. Toys with educational value, toys that were made to last. I came across this website about a year ago....I am obsessed. Best toys EVA!!

Well, they broke my heart the other day. A message over the magical waves of facebook informed me they were closing out forever!! *gasp*

Good news? They are having a HUGE, mega, mind blowing sale on the remaining stock...hold it, wait for it...

50% off!!!!!

I'm talking brand names like Melissa & Doug, Bilibo, Groovy Girls, Green Label Organic, Manhattan Toys...etc etc!!
They have great prices...and for sure a slowly dwindling stock...because *sob* they are closing out at the end of the month!!

Like this month...like APRIL!!

Head over to http://www.giftedimaginations.com/  use the promo code: "Spring"    for the 50% dealio!

Seriously....I never wanted to turn this blog into a promotion one, just my usual rants...but this site deserves to be mentioned...and since I enjoy most of your company (silly readers)....I pass on my smarts to you.

Go....browse...haul out your hubbys credit card you hid from him...shhh I didn't mean that :O ....stock up for next Christmas...buy a bus load and gift it to me...bahaha.......you can thank me with praise! :D

The 4 Shades of a Parent.

I've been in hiding lately...actually I have about 4 new posts in the hopper and just can't bring myself to post them. I'm not sure why. It's not that I am a shy person when trying to express a thought (read: big mouthed know it all)...it's not that I don't enjoy a good debate...I don't know what it is.

I had a great idea about "Different parenting styles" posts...but the thing is...my parenting style is most likely very different then yours...if I write it I never mean my way is better, because believe me, YOUR parenting style is nothing like mine. Everyone does it differently.

According to psychologists (Baumrind, 1967) there are four basic styles of parenting:
Authoritarian
Authoritative
Uninvolved
Permissive

Lets break it down...a la DJ Lance (Yo Gabba Gabba, 200?)

Authoritarian parenting is basically the parents establishing rules and the children are expected to follow them. You don't want to follow the rules? You get punished. Simple as that. I am the parent, I am the ruler, these are my rules and its because "I said SO!".....I'm a little of this. My main rules of the house that fall under this heading include SAFETY and RESPECT. You WILL use manners if you want something, if I deem something as unsafe and you put yourself (or family) in danger you WILL get punished. Simple...and by da' Jesus I have said "Cause I said so!" quite a few times already in their short 3 years of existence.

Authoritative parenting is basically the same as above with set rules and guidelines ONLY instead of firm punishment they can be more open to questions and thoughts regarding the rules when broken. More on letting the child self-regulate their own actions and more supportive in the learning aspect of WHY they felt the need for breaking a set guideline. "You broke my rule, why did you do that? Why do you think I asked you not to? How do you feel about that?" I would like to say I fall under this category more then the latter...but really at three years old mine would totally take over the household and it would be a whole Lord of the Flies sh*tstorm brewing...my kids sense weakness and strike! J/k....I grasp this concept more then not, I think in order for a child to firmly understand a rule they need to be talked to and feel open to ask questions...."BUT WHYYYYYYYY?"

Uninvolved Parenting? They have very few demands or rules on their children. They are very detached (IMO) fill their basic needs of food and shelter but that's about it. No rules, no connection, no worries. Kind of like throwing toast at your kids, turning on the TV and sitting down at a kitchen table and ignoring them while you write a blog entry....WAIIIIIITTTTT a minute....that's what I'm doing....anyhoooo nothing to see here, move along :O I'm teasing...as I finished that sentence the boy just pulled his sisters hair to get her toast...and his butt is in the corner as we speak haha

Permissive parents are ones who simply spoil a child or are 'FRIENDS" with their children. There are very little rules or restrictions or expectations places on them, they are free to simply be. We have all seen this type. "My Little Johnny took a rock and scratched the paint on your new truck? Ohhh he's just expressing his emotions. Isn't he creative?" This style is the LEAST of the qualities in my repertoire. I'm sorry, I have many friends, and none of my friends take their diaper off and poop paint on the walls, none of mine wake me up in the middle of the night to throw up in my face. haha....ok that's a little far.

In my opinion, being only ONE of these types of parents is not good. You should have a nice mixture of all 4 qualities. Strict enough to have rules and expect them to follow. Have rules but allow certain rules to be up for discussion when the time is right. Punishments for rule breaking but allowances for debate. You need to take time for yourself, but not to the extent of letting your kids rule the roost. You need to be a sort of friend...not a "hey buddy, lets chill out." but a parent who allows their kids to open up to you without fear of punishment...you need mutual trust. You can't crack the whip without letting a child know where they went wrong.

We, as parents have a tough job. There are always people out there to judge you and wait for you to screw up in your parenting. There is always people who think they do/did a way better job with their kids then you are. If you live your life worrying about what others think of you you might as well have never had kids. These are YOUR kids, you will survive.

The way I see it...I haven't done everything right, I will never do right in some peoples eyes and I may have screwed up ensuring my kids will end up in jail or something, but I'm involved and TRYING. If we all wake up in one piece the next morning and happy then I did my job...today is a new day. :)

You don't have to agree with my opinion...that's the wicked thing about the internet...theres a red X at the top of the screen...

1/3 of the way done!! Celebrate!

I have commitment issues...I have millions of projects or hobbies started but lose interest fast.

I have been slaving over making my kids felt/fabric Quiet books for the looooong drives back to my hometown. The drive takes about 5-6 hours (depending on pit stops) and dvd's only get you so far.

I have finished one of three books!! I will tweak it over the next month before I head home for a visit but for now, DONE!!

Regardez avec Awweeeeeeee (Sorry Mr. Sears, my French has died)





This is one of the front covers. I tried to use different textures...the blue being from a Chinese dress with no give to it, and once I got it stuck on my body and had to cut it to remove (the dress not the body :P) it was retired.

The phone's receiver snaps on  and off...I love the cord.


The Owl of Funk has wings that lift.


Theres a "callerpiller" as my kids call it with a removable butterfly in the cocoon. Tie the shoe, finger puppet farm, Mr. Bo-tatoe head, oven mitt and removable cookie that can be placed in the oven (the door opens), comb/braid her hair, bead counting, the back page is a pair of jeans cut in half and the 'bum' part will hold a sock puppet and the pockets hold crayons...and opposite page holds a coloring book...and finally a snack bag for extra quiet treats.
The boys book has a roadway page with Velcro strips on the road to drive his car on and the other page has a car with removable wheels. He's obsessed....don't ask really.

 

















Please excuse my photo aligning abilities...I know not what I do.

I searched far and wide the millions of websites for ideas, they can be found under anything from "quiet books" or "busy books". None of these were solely my idea but took others ideas and made them my own so credit belongs to them not myself for ideas.

mainly:

http://quietbook.blogspot.com/2008/09/introduction.html

Hopefully my kids enjoy them as much as I would...stay tuned to other projects I have started...and when I say started I mean got lazy and haven't finished.

Let your kids be kids...or let yourself remember how to be one.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear, you will never read about me claiming my house is clean. Cluttered chaos. The only place clean enough for inspections is where I cook, for obvious reasons. In my humble opinion: A child stifled in their mothers obsession of cleanliness promotes psychotic behaviours...or stifles their creativity-however you want to smoke it.

While some parents have this abnormal ability (to me) to be comfortable enough to slap on some outdoor clothes and head out the door for many adventures with their toddlers, or even a few kids. The difference from me? I have 3 all at the age of three. When I leave the house it is for a purpose and if I go visiting I kinda like to not be stressed out. I need 6 extra hands most days.

This year is much better, as they follow directions a lot better then any year before...but it is still not an easy, stress-free, fast feat.

So I have found many ways to amuse the kids inside, when it is too foggy, wet, cold to take them outside in the backyard...most of these ways involve mess. So, people with O.C.D, cleaning fetishes etc, move away from the site...back away from the blog.

I think most of the activities we do with the kids is to see if I can out-do the mess of the last, also, to see if I can give the grandmothers strokes. Not my mother though, she's even worse then I am when it comes to messy activities.

Since before the kids first birthday's I have allowed them freedom of their own personal space. Ex: stewed blueberries. While it provided them with a healthy meal chock full of anti-oxidants, while it peeled off the first layer of babyhood to expose their inner creativity, I didn't think things through.

Stewed blueberries cause staining of furniture, clothing and mostly the skin. My kids looked fairly greenish for a few days...but really a few days of staining it worth a million words in pics...doncha think?

Our next ventures with creativity is finger paints. You can buy non-toxic, safe varieties cheaply at the store...or be right crunchy with yourself and make them: http://www.creativekidsathome.com/activities/activity_42.html

I have never tried a recipe for it, as my mother gave us huge bottles a long time ago and it seems to last forever, though as soon as we run out I'm giving it a go!

With finger paints start off slow. A few squirts on their feeding tray of the high chair, creep up to the next step with paper...if you are lucky enough not to have vinyl flooring tape down large sheets of paper or newspaper...strip the children to its diapers and let them go at it!! This is my favorite!


My way of thinking is that if you have to wash the floor...if you have to bathe the  kids, you might as well make it worth  the effort!

Our latest messy art project is nothing new to some early childhood educators...shaving cream!! My kids have these little tables and I squirted foam all over it. They spent close to an hour driving dinkie cars through it, drawing pictures in it and just plain having fun...rumour has it I took part in some of the mess as well.

We also play with glue, glitter, pompoms, pipe cleaners, oobleck, gunk...maybe to expand their creativity, maybe to give myself a few minutes break from the fighting, whining and crying...but I'll never tell...

Some might think this is a waste of time, but when I watched my just 2 year old daughter back then pick up a magna-doodle and draw a very realistic face (including eyes, nose, mouth, arms, legs, ears and a boob all in the correct place)...I kinda feel "How can it be wrong?"

So people let your freak flag fly...strip your kids off, put on old clothes and let kids be kids...make a mess. If people come in and don't like the state of your house tell them "The door is thatta way...the broom is thatta way...take your pick".